You
know you’re a redneck if you go to a family reunion looking for a girlfriend.
Rednecks
don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.
You
might be a redneck if your jack-o lantern on your porch has more teeth than you do.
You know you're a redneck when
your stair master has an ashtray!
What
do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
-A pimp.
How can you tell if a redneck is married?
-There
is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why did God invent armadillos?